Examples of anti-skills
quixylvre asked realsocialskills:
…In trying to explain to my mother what “anti-skills” are, she wants me to provide a list of examples. Could you, in a single post, provide a list of anti-skills that autistic people are routinely taught, perhaps also an addendum with anti-skills that are merely occasionally taught instead of consistently?
Some anti-skills I can think of off the top of my head, with some relevant links:
- Inability to say no
- Figuring out what people in power want, and doing it automatically
- Appearing enthusiastic and happy about doing so
- Suppressing and hiding all negative emotions; maintaining an happy affect at all costs
- Holding still in order to appear more neurotypical, even when it makes it impossible to understand things or communicate
- Denying that you’re disabled; lacking awareness of your own disability or impairment
- Hostility towards adaptive equipment and disability-related coping strategies
- Contempt for the body language and other discernibly autistic traits in others
- Inability to tell who is a friend and who has another agenda (this can lead to destructive involvement with ideological groups)
- Pushing yourself really hard to speak when other forms of communication would be more effective and less draining
- Becoming convinced that you don’t really care about other people and aren’t able to understand or relate to them, and so you have to rely on rigidly following rules instead
- Becoming convinced that you don’t have any body language
- Becoming convinced that you’re good at things that autistic people are stereotypically supposed to be good at, at the expense of spending time on things you’re actually good at
I also talked about some anti-skills in this post I wrote for someone considering working as an aide for an autistic kid.
These are some of the anti-skills I know about, what are some others y'all know about?