making phone calls​​​​​​​

youratheistfriend asked realsocialskills:

Do you have any tips on how to make important phone calls when you need to but it’s difficult? I always end up getting myself all panicked about them and sometimes consequently unable to make them, but I can’t not worry about them because then I’ll put it off too long or forget about it. Thank you so much for having this blog, by the way, it’s amazing.

  • I write out notes for what I need to say
  • Sometimes I write a script, and sometimes I just write bullet points for topics I need to hit or questions I need to ask
  • If there’s a possibility that I will need to leave a message, then I write out a script for the message.
  • (One of the worst parts of phone calls for me has been worrying about what will happen if I have to leave a message, so writing out exactly what to say helps a lot. It makes the thought of leaving a message more bearable, and less of a barrier to making calls)

Here’s how I use my computer during the call:

  • I type notes on things that sound important 
  • Or that I think I might not understand
  • And if I’m not sure I understand something, sometimes I type out the question I want to ask before I ask it (It can be hard for me to use my voice to generate questions in real-time)
  • Writing out notes is considered normal; writing out questions is not
  • But if you say you need to write something down, people won’t know which it is. So if you need to type things out in order to form a question, you can say “Let me write that down” or “hold on a minute”, and then actually just type the question then ask it

I’ve found that, now that I have strategies in place for managing phone calls a bit better cognitively, I procrastinate slightly less. It’s still not great, though.

Sometimes I also have someone sit with me while I make the call, or tell me to make the call. Like, I will ask a friend “So, I should call x now, right?” and they will say “Yes, go do it”, and that will get me unstuck.

Do any of y'all have suggestions for dealing with phone calls?