When you’re an ally, it will cost you some of your privilege.
Racists, homophobic people, misogynists, folks committed to disability hate, etc – all of those people will start turning some of their hate on you. And you will lose some of what you’ve spent your life feeling entitled to and taking for granted.
And, this can be traumatic.
But… keep in mind that people you’re aligning yourself with experience this all the time, and that they bore a much heavier burden long before you’d started thinking about any of this. And that, for them, it’s unavoidable. You can walk away; they can’t. And, even as it stands, they bear the brunt of it and are hurt by it far more than you are.
Don’t expect your trauma over losing some access to privilege to be at the center of their conversations. It matters, but it’s not the most important thing at stake.
It’s ok to need support. It’s not ok to be a drain on those you’re allying with. Seek out support in dealing with these things from other allies.