Re “I can’t”: Thanks for your answer. I think I agree with all of your answer, so you might have been jumping to wrong conclusions about some of what I meant. However, after reading your answer I modify my statement to this: Sometimes it’s more empowering to say “I can’t”, and other times it’s more empowering to say “I decided not to”. Also, if you say “I can’t” and someone challenges that, it’s good to be ready to confidently answer e.g. “In the sense of what’s reasonably feasible, I can’t”.