elfstaranymore:

Social skills for autonomous people: Even more on learning no

realsocialskills:

Boundaries are complicated.

Sometimes you want someone to stop doing something, and you have every right to demand that they stop. Sometimes you don’t, because it’s something they have every right to do.

Sometimes it depends on the relationship.

Sometimes it’s very, very ambiguous.

Sometimes…

I feel like this implies that if someone leaves me, it must be my fault. But other people make mistakes too. Other people have their own issues they’re dealing with. Other people have ableist, sexist, racist, etc prejudices that might make them leave a person. And if you have a disability that affects social skills or emotions, there ARE people who will take advantage of that to make you feel like something is your fault when it isn’t.

Just because someone doesn’t like me doesn’t always mean I did something wrong.

Agreed. People can decide to leave you for reasons that aren’t your fault at all. I was talking about one way relationships end; I didn’t mean to suggest that’s the only reason. (I can see how it kind of looked like I meant that, though.)

That said, if someone decides to leave you, you still have to respect that the relationship has ended. A relationship is over when one of the participants decides it’s over. That’s true even if the person being broken up with didn’t do anything wrong. That’s true even if the person initiating the breakup did do something wrong.

Relationships require the consent of everyone involved.