Someone reblogged my post About Creepy Guys with a comment along the lines of:
“LOL. I guess there’s no safe place for men to flirt with women anymore, unless they’re attractive guys.”
That’s a creepy comment.
I’m a guy who worries a lot that I might be creeping women out.
I deal with this worry by thinking about the implications of my actions, giving space for women to back out gracefully, and, when I’m uncertain whether it’s okay or not, erring on the side of caution by doing nothing.
This is the correct way to deal with the fear of being gross and revolting. Dealing with it by putting the onus on women to NOT feel uncomfortable, and by acting that you’re somehow a victim of oppression of you give women the heebie jeebies and they wonder about how they can escape the situation without facing a police officer later claiming they were “asking for it”, that is the WRONG way.
Hear that, fellow dudes and guys?
Exactly. And also - if you’re worried that you might be creeping women (or others) out, feel free to send asks. I welcome questions like that; I really want to help people figure out how to treat others well.