I’m sorry if this is a stupid question, but it’s gotten pretty bad… whenever I have a moment to think— usually when I’m laying down for bed— my mind defaults to thinking up every single reason I’m a terrible awful failure who doesn’t…
Hello! I have racing thoughts too, and like OP, have them a lot at night while trying to sleep. Here’s what I do:
1. I take my melatonin religiously at night. This makes me too sleepy when I actually go to bed to even think about most of that stuff.
2. When I realize that I’m beating myself up, I do some relaxation breathing–breath in for 4, hold for 5, exhale for 7–that kind of thing.
3. I self-talk firmly. ‘oh, I’m a shitty ass parent this or that happened’ - I immediately relax.breathe, and tell myself “That’s bullshit. You know it. I know it. Things are OK. You know it. I know it. Relax. You’re fine. She’s fine. Calm the fuck down.” I have to be really firm with myself. I grew up in an emotionally abusive situation–so really use whatever works for you. Whatever thoughts you can find that are RAID to the cockroaches that are those racing thoughts, man.
4. Accept the reality of what’s in the past. You can think of a million things you did in 5th grade that are fucking embarrassing as hell–but you can’t go back to 5th grade. You have to just say “OK. Fine. That happened. It won’t happen again. I know better now. I learned from it. I was a fuckin’ kid. I bet I’m the only one that thinks about it/remembers it at all.” and try to think about something positive you’re going to do the next day, like planning your shopping trip, or what you’re going to wear, etc. Think forward, not back!
Obviously my routine isn’t for everyone-but I think the core of what I’m trying to do with myself stands. Do what you can to stop the thoughts dead. Replace them with kinder, and more forward thinking. It’s good that you’re recognizing your circular thoughts as just that. I hope you can over come that shit. I know it’s hard, but since you realize it’s happening, you can stop them now!