If you’ve been abused, and you’ve also learned a lot and done awesome things, some people might try to tell you that the abuse made you stronger. That your awesomeness came from the abuse in some way.
But it’s not the abusers who made you awesome.
You did that.
You’re responsible for all the things you’ve learned and done. Not people who hurt you. They don’t get credit for any of what you’ve done.
And you don’t have to be grateful for any of it.
i reblogged this same post a while ago and i want to reblog it again (for myself & others). but also something related i’ve realized in the past few weeks, as i’ve been having a really positive post-trauma experience with a very respectful man… it’s also not the great people that made you awesome, either.
just because someone decided to be a decent human being and ask consent & accommodate your needs as a survivor, even if they are really really amazing and you like them a lot… you’re still responsible for the healing you’ve done. for the work you’ve put into thinking about it and for finding the strength to say yes or no or whatever you need. for all the battles you’ve fought to get to this point.
he’s not my savior. he’s just a person that came into my life at the right time in my healing journey. remember that.