Anonymous said to realsocialskills:As a person with anxiety issues doing the whole “say goodbye to everyone” routine just stresses me out even more but is it rude not to do it? I’m in various clubs and at the end of the meeting people begin to say “goodbye” to each other by having long small-talk conversations with everyone. Sometimes I just want to leave because its late but is it rude to just leave as soon as the meeting is over, unannounced?realsocialskills said:I have this problem too.I think for me, part of the problem is that I can get to the point of feeling completely wiped out and needing to leave fairly quickly.And then I feel like I effectively need to get everyone’s permission to leave, and I’m not very good at getting it in an efficient way.So often, I end up being rude and disappearing without saying goodbye to everyone. I don’t really like that solution, but I don’t know a better one.Do any of y’all know a better solution to this problem?
I always just disappear without telling anyone. Or I’ll wave to one person near the door and leave quietly. I’ve never had anyone tell me it was rude. I have had people notice that I leave like that and ask if I want help getting introduced to other group members or if I have somewhere to be. And I have had people make an effort to invite me to hang out after group meetings. But usually if I just say I’m not interested or if I say I always have to meet someone after then they just don’t worry about it and take it as fact that I’m always going to leave quietly.
when i lived overseas, this was really common (the leaving without saying goodbye to everyone). we would go hard all night long sometimes because the bars didn’t close and some people understandably (myself included) just weren’t up for it every night of every weekend. we called it “pulling a houdini”. If you try to say goodbye to everyone, invariably there will be at least one person who tries to get you to stay. that always made me feel guilty for even wanting to leave early. so honestly, i think it’s the best option in these situations, but i’m not an expert.