Anonymous asked realsocialskills:I’m physically disabled, and it seems like it usually takes abled people i become friends with a LONG time to “show their true colors” about it. I’ve seen it take 2 years from the first time they knew i was disabled and I openly spoke about it…
it took me a long time to realize the list of people who truly have my best intentions in mind is very small, and there have been some pretty negative encounters along the way. it does come at an extra price to try and help a friend gain a better “understanding”, but even then, a self-interested person is just that, even after you have shown them your world. and after that you might find yourself altering your behavior to make them more comfortable. not vocalizing pains, discomforts, keeping certain thoughts to yourself, making sure not to complain about anything ever lest someone offers a “solution” that doesn’t actually work… after a while I realized I did not like this new behavior of mine. so I left that circle.
since my energy is not quite what it used to be, I have just decided to nourish the relationships that have stood strong with time, and for now, put everything else on the sidelines. it seems to be working okay, and i no longer have frustrating conversations where I have to defend my actions and explain why what I need is different from what someone else needs. it also seems to be helping my path to getting my confidence back.
that is just my experience so far, and not much I read helped me get there. mostly it was reflecting very hard about my experiences and what I need, and not just what I want.
okay maybe my mom helped a little when she said “why do you even talk to these people” :)