fuck yeah, hard femme!: Don’t confuse being on the right side with being trustworthy


One of my favorite things about the earlier Harry Potter books is the description of Professor Snape.

Because he’s openly and unapologetically abusive. And so the kids suspect, over and over, that he’s secretely in league with the bad guys. And he isn’t. He’s a bad person,…

So true! I use to think that if someone has the same politics as me, or is critical of the status quo and power dynamics, means that they’re a good, compassionate person. But now I learn that many don’t walk the talk. And some can be really cold and hurtful. Makes sense why there’s so much interpersonal (and gendered) violence within activist communities. And I was so disillusioned by such realities.

Now, politics are still important to me, but it’s not the only thing I look in a trusted friend.

There are also people who walk some of the talk, and do bad things in other ways.

Like, people who do all kinds of effective political work defending people who are in trouble, but then go around cutting down anyone they see as a potential rival.

Or who defend some people who no one else will, and also hit on them in creepy ways.

People are *complicated*, and someone doing some good things doesn’t mean they’re personally trustworthy.