poisondartwolf:

These two conversations are not the same:

#1
Person A: I’m being bullied!
Person B: You you belong to [group] and/or have [trait]. This might make you a target for bullying, but this does not make it your fault.
(Person A might already know this.)
[Sometimes there can be further dialogue about bullies and how people react to them here.]

#2
Person A: I’m being bullied!
Person B: You should expect that because of [group affiliation and/or trait]. Grow a thicker skin.

A lot of people think they’re doing #1 when they’re actually doing #2. A lot of people already know the first conversation and don’t need it repeated.

#2 also shifts the pressure off the bully and shifts it onto the person being bullied, and makes their reaction the problem, not the existence of bullies. This tells someone that if they didn’t care about being hurt there would not be a problem. This isn’t true. Bullying is a behavior that is a problem, even if not every person targeted by it feels hurt. (There is a lot of variation in how people react, and in this case the focus is on a person who is expressing upset as a reaction. But know that there are more.)

Basically, stop treating these conversations as the same. They’re not, and the differences matter.