Ozy’s Tumblr Thing: Beware of folks who trigger others on purpose


There are people who like other people to be intensely emotionally dependent on them. They like to control people through this emotional dependence. And they like to think of this control and forced dependence as understanding the target on a deep level, rescuing them, and…

I can see this easily descending into paranoia. Obviously, you should be aware of manipulative people, but this makes it seem like everyone is out to get you. If you’re already in such a situation, I can’t see how something like this would help. It’s almost a trigger of its own: everyone is out to keep you down, even your therapist! WTF

I didn’t mean that it’s everyone, or that people should be suspicious of everyone in their lives. Most relationships are not like this. But this is an abuse dynamic that does happen, and it can happen in any type of relationship that has a personal component.¬†

And it goes beyond manipulation. I’m talking about something specific: ¬†people who control others by intentionally triggering them.

There absolutely are therapists that do this; becoming a therapist doesn’t automatically make someone a safe person. If you want to do therapy, it’s really important to pay attention to what that relationship is actually like; this includes monitoring whether it’s safe and whether it’s helping.

And when someone has someone in their life who repeatedly triggers them on purpose, it’s really important to figure out that it’s happening and get away.

I wish I hadn’t had to figure out the hard way that this dynamic happens.