“I’m a touchy-feely person.”
Some people say this a lot. Some of them are really, really scary and dangerous people.
Sometimes what people mean by this is “I’m the kind of person who is allowed to touch and feel people, and I don’t have to consider whether it is…
yeah the first time I ever encountered sexual assault was from a male friend I’d known for years who was famously written off as (and self-described as) “just a touchy-feely guy.” He was a hair-stroker and I remember other female friends sitting on his lap sometimes. “Touchy-feely” people now generally make me feel panicky and unsafe and I think there’s good reason. (Also, this was 4? years ago and he still sometimes sends me anonymous messages on here. These people have real boundary issues, and again, I do not trust them.)
People who violate boundaries openly in public tend to violate boundaries in much more dangerous ways in private.
And people who make their lack of regard for other people’s boundaries part of their identity are dangerous.