Would it be possible for you to describe what particularily triggering aspects of these tests might be?
There are several potentially…
My tester was really sweet and I’d actually even recommend her to others, but she had this habit of pointing out my mistakes in an almost congratulatory way. As in, “that’s amazing, you failed nearly every one of those tasks!”
I don’t think she would have done that if I hadn’t been doing well on other tests (like with a lot of neuropsych testing, she was looking for discrepancies in ability across different types of tasks). And on some level she was right to be positive when her tests identified something I couldn’t do, because it was validating. But on the other hand, it’s not like I was trying to fail those tests - I was doing my absolute best and thought I was doing okay at them so hearing I failed them still made me sad.
Also, for months after receiving a diagnosis I’d have sudden moments of panic realizing that there would always be things that I didn’t see and areas in which I was at a disadvantage. That I couldn’t just try harder and get better. I strongly suspected that I was autistic before, so my negative reaction to being diagnosed came as a bit of a surprise. It got better eventually but I do wish that I’d been connected with some form of after-care, instead of just getting a diagnosis and then taking it back to a therapist who wasn’t terribly familiar with ASD.