clothing

plus size shopping master post

wtfplus:

i decided to compile a list of plus size stores with a little blurb, their size range, and their price range as a resource for you butts. i apologize that this list is very US-centric and very ‘feminine’-centric (i looked super hard for gender neutral and ‘masculine’ plus clothes but just found wall after wall of ‘big and tall’ stores with nothing but khakis and polos)- i tried to note shipping ranges where it was transparent on the site. all sizes are in US sizes and all money is in USD.

please feel free to send me any place i missed (especially if they are gender neutral or ‘masculine’ !!! or independent shops)- my only requisite is that they carry above a 42 waist for ‘masculine’ stuff and above a US size 20 for ‘feminine’ stuff. exceptions can be made (like for forever 21+) if sizes are known to run large, but this is why stuff like dorothy perkins and rue 107 are missing. stores with a *** are wtfplus approved (meaning i’ve shopped there AND really like their clothes).

general plus sizes:
additionelle – canadian plus size chain (their lane bryant, basically, but slightly hipper), sizes up to 26/4X, most stuff is $60 to $150 for dresses. online only outside of canada, ships only to US and canada.
alight – plus size clothing aggregator leaning toward juniors/beach hippie.  aggregates up to size 34. just about everything is under $30.
ashley stewart – good for basics and work clothes, lots of bright colors. carries up to size 26. prices range from $30 to $90. started by a rich white man to target/employ women of color.  this has nothing to do with their clothing style but is a weird bit of paternalistic of trivia.
asos curve *** – UK plus size retailer, modern and trendy plus size clothes, nearly everything is cool or beautiful. sizes go up to a US 24, but when something is stretchy or a ‘swing dress’ i’ve found that the 22 comfortably fits a size 28 (me).  if you like something stretchy, try it out- returns are free and quick. most things are $20 to $100. online only, ships worldwide.
autograph – australian plus size chain, juniors and casual styles, sizes up to 22 (AUS 26), most stuff is around $50 to $100. online only outside of australia and new zealand.
avenue – ‘mature’ styles, good for tights and underwear and basics especially, carries up to size 32 (mostly only up to 28 in store, though some 30s can be found). prices ranging from $20-$90
ax paris - european trendy plus size store. a lot of their stuff is carried at simply be, asos, evans, and yours clothing, as well as kmart in the US. carries up to a US 22/24, though their US site doesn’t seem to carry a plus line. most stuff is under $70.
big & tall direct - ‘masculine’ basics, up to size 10x and an 80 waist in some things. prices vary wildly, from $10 to $300 because they carry basics and suiting. site is a little hard to navigate.
boohoo - casual and work wear, up to a US size 20 (though i’ve seen people around a US 22/24 wear some of their items). most stuff is $10 to $55.
carmakoma - danish plus size store. high quality, lots of edgy leather and matrix-y clothes. sizes up to 24. prices run from $50 to $300. online only outside of europe, worldwide shipping.
catherine’s – ‘mature’ styles, sizes up to  34/5X, prices ranging from $30 all the way to $130.
chic star - retro and pin-uppy stuff with some goth stuff mixed in. the sizes can be a little confusing, but they seem to carry up to a 26/28.most stuff is $20-$80.
city chic – australian plus size chain, juniors and adults who read young adult novels styles, sizes up to 22 (though they say it’s comparable to other stores’ 24), most stuff is around $50 to $100.  online only outside of australia and new zealand.
deb shops – junior plus, cute casual and party clothes for teens. carries up to a 24/3X. most stuff is $20 to $70. 
dress barn – professional and casual women’s plus, much cuter than you’d expect for a place with ‘barn’ in the name.  carries up to a size 24, but there’s a weird grey area where 14 and 16 overlap with ‘regular’ dress barn (and the 14 plus is $20 more than the 14 regular). most stuff is $50 to $100. MOST dress barns have a ‘women’s’ section.
eddy & bri - juniors plus and women’s plus with some pretty cute forever 21-ish dresses. their sizing is confusing because anything over a 3X is considered an ‘extended size’, and their juniors chart stops at 18/20 while their women’s chart goes up to 26/28. ask questions before ordering. most stuff is under $60.
eloquii – juniors plus owned by the limited. they went out of business but are coming back spring of 2014 due to customer feedback. carried up to a size 24 i believe, and most stuff was under $80. online only but may appear in select stores.
eShakti *** – ‘retro’ and modern styles (mostly dresses), good for general cuteness, bridesmaids dresses, etc. carries sizes 0-36 but will make things bigger, so there’s really no upper limit. for an extra $7.50 you can customize anything to your measurements/change length/change neckline/etc., prices from $50 to $120. lots of good coupons and sales. online only, ships only to US and canada
evans *** – hit and miss casual and professional plus, their hits are HUGE hits (beth ditto line comes to mind) and they have a great coat selection, up to size 28, most stuff is $60 to $110. online only outside of the UK and middle east.
fashion to figure – cheapy plus club and casual wear, beautiful colors and prints but low quality. sizes up to a 26. almost everything is under $45.
forever 21+ - plus size juniors. basically just as cheap and wacky as their non-plus lines. sizes up to 20/3X though some items are expanding to 22/4X (and the stretchier stuff runs a little roomy).  most stuff is like $10 to $40, which is on par with the quality.  available in SOME stores, but mostly online only.
gstagelove - juniors plus, carries much of the same stock as fashion to figure but cheaper ! sizes go up to 22, but some people have said they’ve had luck fitting into stuff up to size 26.  most items are $10 to $30.
h&m+ - very basic women’s plus, lots of black and denim so far. sizes up to a 24. most stuff is $13 to $50. available in SOME stores, but mostly online only.
hello holiday - cute retro/vintage-y/modcloth-y dresses. their buyers have good taste and their plus size line is expanding, though it’s called ‘va-va-voom’. sizes up to 22/4X, most dresses $60 to $90.
holy clothing - clothes for ye olde renaissance faire, with lots of capes. sizes up to a 5X/30/32. most stuff is under $80.
igigi – professional and formal clothes, sort of like a sexier kiyonna (and they carry wedding stuff). the designer, yulia raquel, is a pretty big risk taker, and they come up with pretty unique-looking stuff sometimes. sizes up to a 30/32. online only, though available through several retailers and department stores.
j. jill – sort of a wanna be/will never be j.crew, casual overpriced clothes for women.  sizes up to 28/4X. most things are $60 to $100. notable because they have a lot of cotton and linen and natural fibers.

jacamo – simply be’s ‘men’s’ store, one of the few ‘men’s’ clothing stores i could find with stylish clothes that weren’t just khakis and polo shirts. carries up to a men’s 5X/54 waist with shoes up to a 16. prices vary wildly, from $30 to $150. online only.
jessica london – modern, professional, and formal styles. good if you need a dress to wear to some dork’s wedding. claims to carry up to a size 40, but most of the best dresses stop at 28. wild range of prices, from $20 to $150. online only.
kiyonna **** – professional and formal clothes, this is THE fat person ‘oh shit, i have a wedding to go to’ dress source. carries up to a 32/5X. also offers pictures of people with different body types in their dresses. prices range from $90 to $200. online only, though they are available through several other retailers.
land’s end - yuppie plus size clothing for yachting and posing for the ll bean catalog. occasional cute dresses and VERY cute bikinis up to a size 26. most stuff is under $140, though bathing suit pieces are sold separately. they also sell petite plus. online only.
lane bryant – ‘mature’ and professional styles, good for underwear and bras (not good QUALITY bras but good bra sales/decent size range), carries up to size 28/30 in their own clothes but has up to size 36 because they stock kiyonna dresses, prices range from $29 to $150 but you can ALWAYS (i mean always) find a huge coupon.  their site is finicky about taking debit cards.
levi’s – jeans. just jeans. but jeans that are made of actual denim instead of spandex. up to size 24, though they run small. most jeans are $40 to $60, though they often have coupon codes. plus sizes are online only but have been spotted in the wild at kohls before.
living doll LA - sort of like a plus size delia*s. sizes up to 22/24. most stuff is between $10 and $40.
ll bean – yuppie plus size clothing similar to land’s end. most stuff is under $120. online only.
lovedrobe –UK retailer with juniors and youthful clothes, lots of bright colors, sizes up to a US 28 (sizes are listed in UK sizing) though most items stop at a 24, and i’ve heard their clothes run small. most things are under $100.  online only, ships to UK, europe, and US/canada.
love your peaches - “mature” plus with lots of bathing suit options (including fatkinis). sizes up to a 34/36. prices range from $50 to $100.
modcloth *** – retro and modern cute plus size clothes, recently committed to expanding their sizes and making a real effort to listen to their customers. carries up to a 28/30/4X. most stuff is $70 to $120. their app and review system is really helpful. online only.
monif c. – sexy party dresses and cool bikinis. lots of prints and bright colors. carries up to a 24/3X. most stuff is $100 to $200. online only outside of NYC boutique, though you can find pieces at various stores in missouri, maryland, and louisiana.
navabi - german plus size retailer, very similar to evans (maybe a little more fashion forward and a little wackier) but prices are inexplicably $150 to $1000 ! to the point where i think their currency converter is broken. sizes up to us 28.
pin up girl clothing – retro pin-uppy stuff (obviously).  their models have VBO, which is refreshing. sizes up to a 4X (which is defined as measurements of 53-45-56). most stuff is $70 to $150.
old navy plus – good for basics like t-shirts and yoga pants, but their plus size styling is lightyears behind. also took their plus lines out of stores, which sucks. sizes go to up 30/4X, though their clothes notoriously run big. most things are $10 to $50 and they often have coupon codes.  if you’re a 24/26, try their stretchy XXL stuff from non-plus old navy. you’ll be surprised.
new look/inspire – uk plus retailer. cute trendy and juniors style clothes.  sizes up to 24. most stuff is under $50 US. online only outside of europe and the middle east.
one stop plus – aggregator for online plus size clothing. they pull from a bunch of sources and you can search up to size 44. the signal to noise ratio is pretty bad. online only.
pennington’s – canadian plus size chain (appears to be the catherine’s to additionelle’s lane bryant), most stuff is $60 to $90. online only outside of canada, ships only to US and canada.
pink clove *** – newer UK plus size store, clothes are getting cuter as they really pay attention to customer feedback, carries up to a US 28. most things are between $40 and $80. online only, ships worldwide.
pyramid collection - witchy (like wiccan witchy, not tumblr black clothes witchy) and hippie type clothes, with some romantic poetry shirts and stuff. carries up to a 26/28. prices range from $20 to $90.
queen grace - work and eveningwear type stuff, lots of sequins and dramatic cuts. sizes up to a 26. most stuff ranges from $50 to $120.
rainbow – juniors plus, casual and party clothes for teens with occasional pieces adults might like.  carries up to a size 22. most stuff is $10 to $40.
roaman’s – lane bryant/avenue clone. they carry up to size 40, though their size chart goes up to a 48. most stuff is $30 to $100.
simply be *** – UK plus size clothing store, generally really cute stuff, carries designers like gok wan and anna scholz, though their social media team seems to be clueless non-fat people. carries up to a US 28 and has plus size maternity. most things are between $30 and $100. online only, ships to UK, through europe, and to US.
sonsi – ‘mature’ and fancy type clothes, owned by lane bryant’s parent company, functions as an aggregator so they carry items from many designers.  listed so sizes go up to 36 and prices go up to $500. online only.
swak designs – casual and modern styles, lots of solid colors to wear to events, sizes up to 36/6X, most things are $50 to $100. online only.
talbot’s - described as stuffy, but a good place to get good quality interview suits and ‘professional’ work clothes. sizes up to 24. ranges around $100 to around $300 for a full suit.
torrid – juniors/’alternative’ style clothing (though they are trying to skew older now), good for leggings/fishnets and getting last minute items at the mall when you can’t wait for online ordering, carries up to a  28/4X in stores but has 30/5X online. prices range from $20 to $120. be forewarned that their site will place a hold on your card and then make a separate charge, basically making it so 2x the amount you’re charged is held on your card for a few days (this sucks if you’re broke). also, their sales suck.
ts 14+ - australian plus size chain, casual and formal styles, sizes up to 22, most stuff is around $80 to $130 (in USD).  online only outside of australia.
ulla popken – german plus size retailer. ‘mature’ clothing and lots of long skirts and dresses. sizes up to a US 26/3X. most stuff is $25 to $90. online only outside of europe and the middle east.
ureshii - basics, work clothes, and simple pretty things, all custom sized. they will customize to any size like eshakti, letting you pick lengths and fabrics and measurements. most things are $24 to $150.
wet seal+ - very 90s juniors plus. notable for being one of few juniors lines to go up to a 28.  most stuff is under $30. available in LIMITED stores but mostly online.
wole designs - an odd mix of club wear, professional wear, and dressy stuff. largest size is a 24. prices between $40 and $90.
woman within – ‘mature’ styles, good for basics and full coverage clothing (their bike shorts are awesome and cheap for chub rub prevention), sizes up to 44, prices from $10 to $99 with most stuff skewing toward cheaper. worst possible name for a store. online and catalog only.
yours clothing *** – UK retailer with juniors and 20something-y clothes, good for formal attire and fun prints too, carries up to a US 28 (though everything i’ve had from them runs about a size small/is very short), most things are between $40 and $100. online only outside of the UK, ships through europe, asia, middle east, africa, australia, and US/canada.

department stores/big box stores:
click here for some heavy lifting re: largest sizes in men’s and women’s sizes
jc penney *** – occasional cute dresses and occasional cute juniors plus. carries up to a 26. most stuff is $25 to $100. plus sizes are available in store, but junior plus is not.
kmart - sorta fashion forward for a big box store, they now carry AX paris stuff. sizes up to a 30/32, though the cuter stuff stops at 24/26. most stuff is under $45. selection is better online than in stores.
kohls – cheapy women’s and juniors casual wear. sizes up to a 24. prices are mostly under $40, with lots of good sales. also carries plus size levis at some locations.  most physical stores actually have larger plus size sections than online. their junior plus line is online only, but you can order it from the kiosk in store and have it shipped.
macy’s – women’s and juniors plus styles, with women’s skewing more toward formal and professional. designers like jones ny and calvin klein.  sizes up to 22/24. prices from $40 to $140. limited plus sections available in store, but most items are online only.
maurice’s – chintzy juniors and very casual stuff up to a size 28. most stuff is under $50. notable only for having a tool to show you if ‘regular’ clothes are available in plus sizes, and not charging more for plus sizes.  online only outside of the midwest US.
neiman marcus – formal and professional designer styles, carries designers like Eileen fisher and joan vas. sizes up to 26/28 (though most things stop at 22/24). prices range from $80 to $500. not sure of availability in stores. couches plus sizes under ‘special sizes’.
nordstrom  - formal and professional styles, carries designers like michael kors, DKNY, and ralph lauren. most things only go up to a 22/24. prices range from $80 to $300. limited plus sections available in store, but most items are online only.
ross *** - department stores that buy unsold stock from other department stores and closing retail stores. locations are hit or miss but sometimes there’s strange and beautiful gems. most stores have prices under $30 and sizes up to a 28. kind of like the thunderdome. no online shopping, stock differs store to store.
sears – inexpensive work wear and casual wear. sizes purportedly go up to a 26 but almost everything stops at a 24. most items are under $40. plus sizes can usually be found in store. have a completely different selection from online, though bathing suits can often be found in store.
target – cheap basics, casuals. sizes up to a 28/4X. most stuff is under $40. robust online selection, depressing and heartbreaking in store selection.
tj maxx/tk maxx *** – department stores that buy unsold stock from other department stores and closing retail stores. locations are hit or miss but sometimes there’s strange and beautiful gems. most stores have prices under $30 and sizes up to a 26. slightly fancier than ross, but less likely to have larger plus size items. no online shopping, stock differs store to store.
walmart – cheap basics, casuals, and activewear. surprisingly cute bikinis and bathing suits for cheap. sizes go up to a 28/4X though bathing suits seem to only go up to a 3X. most stuff is under $30. stores

intimates/underpants:
bare necessities – bras between $50 and $100. mostly focused on large cup bras, but one or two bras with band sizes in the 50s.
full beauty - cup sizes up to N and band sizes in some cup sizes up to a 58. most bras are under $70.
her room – aggregator of plus size lingerie with a wide range of prices and options up to 14X.
hips and curves – bras with a band size up to 48, lingerie up to a 4X or so, most stuff under $60.
just my size – grandma-y bras but big range in sizes, and most things are under $40.
lady grace – cup sizes up to O and band sizes in some cup sizes up to a 58. most bras are under $70.
sockdreams *** – just socks and tights ! great reviews of knee- and thigh- high socks available on the site to let you know the maximum circumference of socks.  lots of thigh highs can be plus size knee socks. socks range from $7 to $30.
we love colors *** – plus size tights and footless tights up to an EE (which comfortably fit me, a size 28/30). please see my review of their products here.

independent stores/vintage/hand made:
ali buttons designs - hand-made circle skirts in quirky fabrics.pre-made up to 3X and custom up to any size. prices from $25 to $50. 
anna scholz - high end plus size, lots of print mixing. she makes some cheaper things that you can find at simply be. no sweatshops ! sizes up to a 24 (though the anna scholz dress i got from simply be was a 28 !). prices range from like, $100 to $500 but her sale section is reasonable.
ashley nell tipton – super cute skater dresses and skirts designed by a cool fat person. sizes up to a 32/6X (and they apparently run big !!!). most dresses under $80. online only.
blue fish clothing - organic/fair trade hippie dippie patchouli person clothes. sizes up to a 26, though most stuff stops at a 22. prices can get as high as $228.
cabiria – modern high end dresses, made without sweatshop labor. 
designer is kind of a butthole. sizes up to 24, prices from $150-$400. online and in select boutiques only.
candy strike - unique plus size stuff, making prettttyyyy serious use of the cover of ‘unknown pleasures’. sizes up to a 22/24. prices between $30 and $65. online only.
chubby cartwheels *** – lace/mesh/velvet crop tops, body suits, leggings, crop tops, and bandeaus made by a cool fat person. sizes up to 5X. prices range from $25 to $50. online only.
cult of california - the first in plus size galaxy prints and more interesting boutique clothing. sizes up to a 5X/28/30. prices range from $12-$85.
the curvy elle - cute actual vintage from vintage times. sizes up to a 24 (sometimes 26 !), prices vary but most are under 40.
domino dollhouse *** – modern and trendy and retro styles by a cool fat person. the first plus store to get on the galaxy print tip ! sizes up to 28/4X (though the 4X leggings ran very large on me, a 28). prices under $90. online only.
fat fancy *** – portland vintage plus size- and i mean actual plus size and actual vintage.  prices and sizes vary, since it’s vintage. etsy store available, brick and mortar store in portland.
gisela ramirez - maker of the infamous “fuck flattering” crop top. the store is broken right now so i can’t get any more deets.
heartmycloset ***– vintage patterns and retro styles by a person who will make any dress in ANY size.  prices range $100 to $150 for a custom dress.
jessica louise - LA-based pin-uppy plus size stuff. sort of how torrid used to look before they sold out. most stuff is $30 to $80. online and brick & mortar in los angeles.
lovesick vintage - ACTUAL plus size vintage. seems to be up to a size 24 right now. prices under $50.
lucie lu boutique - former buyer for the now-defunct b&lu, described by kate harding as ‘forever 32’. sizes up to 5X, which are more like a 26/28 than a 30/32. prices from $16 to $75.
kmk designs - very customizable steampunk/goth/lolita/tim burton movie person clothes. they will make ANY size and customize for any gender presentation. prices range from $50 to $300. studio in minnesota, online for the rest of us.
kristin miles - cute modern plus, very modcloth-y. sizes up to 22/24 and prices ranging from $30 to $90.
proud mary vintage - ACTUAL plus size vintage. stuff up to 24 right now (but the vintage market is fickle). reasonable prices, most things under $40.
re/dress shop *** – modern and trendy plus size by two cool fat people in cleveland. now carrying masculine and butch styles too. home of teggings ! sizes up to 3X and 4X with plans to expand in the future. prices  range from $25 to $100. brick and mortar store in cleveland.
size queen clothing - beth ditto-y hand made in portland. sizes look to go up to a 22/24. prices from $100 to $150.
youtheary khmer - actual on-trend clothing for plus size people. up to size 24. prices from $15 all the way up to $200.
zelie for she - plus size clothing by elann zelie. if nicki minaj called you and asked you to come over, you could comfortably pick something up here to wear. sizes up to a 26/28. prices between $60 and $90. online and in boutiques only.

rental/borrowing:
gwynnie bee – like a netflix for plus size clothes. selection is great under a size 24, but availability and options go down the closer you get to size $20. you don’t have to wash anything, either ! various prices for various plans.
rent the runway – designer styles for rent up to a size 22. plus size celebrities like mary lambert use this service ! most rentals run $30-$125.

Shopping for clothes

pobody:

thaxted:

realsocialskills:

Hello, thank you for running this blog. I was wondering if you have any ideas on how to make shopping for clothes less overwhelming? I almost never buy new clothes until mine are full of holes because of a few reasons, but mostly because I get stressed out in clothing stores and even while shopping online because of how many things there are. Thank you!
realsocialskills said:
Shopping for clothing is hard, particularly for women. I don’t have a complete solution, but I do have some ideas:
Pay attention to sensory overload:
  • Most stores that sell clothing are also very overloading on a number of levels
  • It might be helpful to listen to music on headphones while you shop
  • Pay attention to which stores are more overloading, and try to shop at the ones that are easier to deal with
  • When you get overloaded or overwhelmed, it can be really helpful to stop and hold onto something solid (eg: a clothing rack, a shopping cart) for a couple of minutes until you feel more grounded

It might be helpful to have someone shop with you

  • Some people get distracted and overloaded alone, but not with other people
  • Sometimes another person can help you narrow down decisions
  • Sometimes another person can notice signs of overload and help you come out of it
  • Sometimes just having someone else there can make it easier to have perspective
  • This doesn’t work for everyone, and for some people having someone else can make it worse. But it works really well for some people

When you find something you like, buy more than one of it

  • Then when it wears out or is in the wash or whatever, you’ll still have one
  • If you want one, you probably want more than one
  • Clothing is easier when a lot of it is the same
  • If you are a woman and will be socially penalized for wearing the same shirts style all the time, you can sometimes fix this by having a lot of scarves and wearing a different one every day.

Notice brands you like

  • If you like a particular brand, it’s likely that you’ll keep liking stuff from that brand even as they change it
  • The same brands are usually in the same places in the store
  • And if not, you can look for them on purpose instead of being completely overwhelmed by all the options

Different kinds of stores are different, and some might be more or less overloading:

  • For instance, The Burlington Coat Factory has racks where all the skirts in a particular range of sizes are. And then you can flip through.
  • Most other stores have racks with one particular thing in several different sizes, organized by designer and loosely organized be levels of fanciness
  • Depending on how you think, one or the other style of store might be dramatically easier for you to deal with
  • For instance, if I know that I want a shirt, I usually find it easier to go to a store that has all the shirts in my size in one place.
  • If I need various different pieces of clothing, I often find it easier to go to a store that’s organized by brand, so I can get various things in a brand I know I like

Some stores have people who can help you shop

  • This seems like it is probably helpful to some people, but as of yet, I am not one of those people, so I can’t tell you much about it
  • I am hoping other people will have more of a sense of how this can be helpful

Do any of y’all have suggestions about making clothes shopping manageable? 

thaxted said:

In addition to all the good tips above:

Stores are busy at different times of day and of the week. When my work schedule is flexible (it isn’t always), I try to shop early in the day on week days when there are fewer people around, and avoid crowded weekend afternoons and evenings. Less noise, less accidental contact, less competition for dressing rooms, more chill environment overall.

I’m learning some sewing basics and putting patches on the wear-spots in my jeans and sewing up tears in my shirts so I can get a few more months out of them before going through the shopping ordeal again.

Checking the sizes on my clothes/writing them down before I go out so that I can grab things of the same brand off the rack/shelf and know exactly what size I need instead of having to try them on all over again (only works with the same brand because different brands of the same labelled size can have a totally different fit).

If I don’t know what size I need, grabbing multiple versions of the same thing in different sizes so I can try them all on and not have to keep going back for more. I start with the biggest size and work my way down because it’s easier to deal with putting on something that’s too big than something that’s too small.

It’s never not stressful—this is just how I minimize the likelihood of having a panic attack and needing to leave. :(

pobody said:

online shopping can be overwhelming and complicated, especially if you have to deal with shipping costs, but it does have its benefits

  • most stores have e-mail newsletters you can sign up for if you don’t mind spam, so if you know a store that carries lots of stuff you like you can stay on top of what kinds of deals they’re having (this is especially helpful if it’s a place that’s normally a bit out of your price range)
  • similarly, some places have points cards or membership programs that offer you exclusive discounts and coupons
  • lots of stores have terrible websites, but lots are easy to navigate. sifting through them can be time consuming and overwhelming, so just check once in a while when you find somewhere you like to shop. if you use the site often, it will become easier.
  • if you tend to put off buying clothes and end up having to run to the store because your last pair of pants gave up, e-mails help notify you when your favourite style is available/on sale, so you can stock up, or just remind you that spring is coming and you might need a new rain jacket or something
  • (you should definitely wait to buy seasonal things if you can though, because stores always put winter stuff on sale to make room for summer stuff, and vice versa)
  • a lot of websites have an option to check availabilities in your local store, so if you know what style and colour you want ahead of time you can look it up so you don’t have to go store-to-store
  • you can also do this over the phone if that’s what you prefer, and this way you can probably ask the sales associate to put the item on hold for you
  • if you’re going to buy something online that you haven’t tried on, make sure to check the returns policy

i sometimes make a list of things i want before i go shopping, and usually end up keeping it on hand for weeks or months so when i happen to be near a clothing store i like, i can pull it out of my purse and say “oh right, i wanted pink socks and cardigans” so i don’t end up wandering aimlessly through the store. this works on a piece of paper or a smart phone.

if i’m shopping alone, i like to take photos with my phone of everything i like, or what i try on in dressing rooms. i might send these to a friend to decide if i’ll buy it then and there, or if i’m not set on buying something i might just go home and look at the photos again later. you can also take a picture of the price tag, so you can do some budgeting later if you need to.

temporallydisplaced:

Shopping for clothes

realsocialskills:

Hello, thank you for running this blog. I was wondering if you have any ideas on how to make shopping for clothes less overwhelming? I almost never buy new clothes until mine are full of holes because of a few reasons, but mostly because I…

temporallydisplaced said:

I try to take notes of which brands fit well and especially that use fabrics I like. Most brands, even if they don’t sell directly, have a website showing most of their clothing, and most retailers’ sites allow you to sort by brand. I tend to hunt for these brands on places like eBay, or other specialty sites. Some people on tumblr also list their old or unused clothing in a ‘closet purge’, and these collections often have consistentish themes and brands, and often get repurged with a decent frequency

(TW: possible ableism(?)) This may be a bit of a strange question, but I am an older non-neurotypical person who has a hard time being taken seriously or seen as the adult that I am, and it makes me very insecure and upset when I am talked to, by my coworkers, in a patronizing manner or as if I am a child when I have shown myself to be their equal when it comes to the work we do. Would you happen to have any tips, if it’s not too much of a bother?

This might be something readers have more insight about than I do.

It’s also a bit abstract for me, because there are a number of ways that people fail to treat others like adults. I’m not sure which form it is.

From the way you’ve asked your question, it kind of sounds to me like maybe you feel like you have to prove that you deserve to be treated like an adult. I think it helps to realize that this is not actually something you have to prove. People who treat you like a child are doing something wrong.

And it would be wrong even if you weren’t good at your job. Your adulthood should not be on trial here.

Keeping this in mind makes it harder for people to mess with you.

As far as changing what they actually do, here are some thoughts:

  • You probably can’t convince them that they’re doing something wrong, and explaining it to them is unlikely to help
  • Because they’re likely to make it into a conversation about your feelings, and explain to you in patronizing tones why you’re imagining it and being too sensitive.
  • There might be things you can do unilaterally that help. For instance, it’s ok to interrupt them when they’re speaking to you in a patronizing tone
  • For instance, if you ask them where a file is, and they launch into a patronizing explanation of the filing system, it’s ok to say, “Yes, I know that. But I’m not sure which category this particular file goes into because [reason], do you know?”

Also, changing the way you dress might help:

  • If you’re dressing less formally than most people in your field, wearing more formal clothing might be helpful
  • If you are a man, Men’s Warehouse can explain the default rules of professional attire and help you find something to wear that’s considered appropriate to your body type.
  • I’m not sure how to do this if you’re a woman, though. The rules of female attire are really complicated
  • If you’re in a field in which formal attire isn’t expected, changing some things about your clothing still might help
  • For instance, if everyone wears t-shirts, it might help to avoid t-shirts that have pictures of things associated with childhood (eg: Care Bears, pictures of cartoon characters (including things like Adventure Time or My Little Pony that are also popular among some adults).
  • This is not guaranteed to work, and might make matters worse if it means you feel like you’re stuck trying to prove your adulthood
  • In any case, it’s not a moral obligation and not a precondition for being an adult. It’s something that may or may not be advisable in certain contexts, and it’s a personal choice

If you use stim toys, it might help to change the ones you use:

  • Toys that are also used by children are more likely to be perceived as childish
  • Eg: silly putty, beanie babies, legos, beads, marbles
  • Neoballs (little neodium magnet spheres you can build things with) are specifically not for children. The silver, gold, or nickel balls are more likely to be accepted than the brightly colored ones.
  • Tangle Toys can look professional in some contexts
  • This is not guaranteed to work, and might make matters worse if it means you feel like you’re stuck trying to prove your adulthood
  • In any case, it’s not a moral obligation and not a precondition for being an adult. It’s something that may or may not be advisable in certain contexts, and it’s a personal choice

It also might be time to look for another job with people who treat you better. Not all jobs are created equal. Not all working environments have the same culture. There might be other people who would respect you and your professional accomplishments more.

Do any of y'all have further suggestions? (Or think I’m wrong about any of this?)