hair

creativeconflagration:

cues for showering

realsocialskills:

I haven’t had a shower/bath in a week, because the main thing that cues me to do that is temperature. If I am too hot I will take a cold shower. If I am too cold, I will take a warm bath. If I am just right for a few weeks, as often happens in spring/autumn, then it doesn’t happen. Do you know any other cues I could use? What cues do other people use? I can’t smell myself.
realsocialskills said:
Could you use sweat and oil as a cue?
People always have skin oil and sweat to some extent, even when it’s not hot. And when you don’t shower for a while, it builds up. That makes the texture of your skin and hair hair feel different. It can be particularly noticeable at your crotch and armpits. Could you pay attention to the texture and presence of sweat, and shower when it changes?
Alternatively, what about relying on a routine? Like, showering every day or every other day regardless of apparent cues that you need to? That might be easier than trying to think about it.

creativeconflagration said:

Honest to goodness I have this problem- it’s compounded with depression. For me, I use my hair as an indicator. If my hair is greasy and lank, then I imagine it’s probably time to wash it. Can’t wash my hair without showering…so, shower time.

swamiswan:

realsocialskills:

I was wondering if you or any of your followers knew the rules for getting your haircut (or nails done, etc) at a salon?  For years, I paid a friend of the family to cut my hair, when needed, but occasionally I want to go to a salon but I have no idea what the rules are.  

I know you tip, but how much?  I don’t think you’re supposed to tip the owner (one time I went and tried to tip him, and I got the sense that I had done something wrong) but I am not sure.  What is the process for tipping?

Is it rude to not engage is smalltalk with the hairdresser while they are cutting your hair?  Is it okay to stay quiet if they don’t say anything?  What are appropriate topics?  

I’m unsure about a lot about this, and probably have more questions I can’t think of right now.  

realsocialskills answered:

I actually have no idea; it’s been years since I’ve managed to get a haircut.

But I bet some of y’all know. Anyone want to take this one?

swamiswan said:

Speaking as someone whose social skills anxiety is often a barrier to getting a “proper” haircut, here are my rules:

1) I tip by rounding up to the nearest ten. So if my cut is £35, I round it to £40. At my current place, it costs £39, so I round to £45. I think some people might tip more than this? I work a low-paid/public-sector job, so I think this is a reasonable amount for me.

2) It’s not rude not to chit-chat with the haridresser (according to me, anyway!). I tend to answer their questions, but bring a magazine or a book as a clear “I don’t want to talk to you and am busy with something else”.

3) If you have problems with describing your haircut (which I do), then do some picture research and bring a pic/some pics, or practice with a friend so that you have your “script” ready.

A nuance regarding hair

There’s a particular kind of complimenting hair that’s usually more or less socially acceptable:

If someone you interact with regularly gets a haircut, it’s usually ok (and often expected) to compliment the new haircut. (So long as it’s not done in a way that sounds like you’re insulting the old one.)

It’s very different from out of the blue telling someone that their hair is nice, or telling someone you just met that they have attractive/adorable/pretty/exotic hair.