Anonymous asked realsocialskills:I feel silly asking this but: what is the etiquette for answering the door for mail/pizza deliveries? Specifically, is it rude if I answer the door in (non-revealing) PJs with unbrushed hair and just generally looking like I’ve been hit by a truck? On low-spoon days, I’d like to just order pizza, but I often can’t bring myself to do it because I feel I need to look human for the delivery driver and obviously I don’t have the spoons for that either. (I’m a girl, which shouldn’t matter but does).realsocialskills said:I actually don’t know, but I bet someone who reads this will.Do any of y’all know whether it’s ok to answer the door for food deliveries wearing PJs?And what else should people know about the etiquette of ordering delivery food?
One time I was super low on spoons so I didn’t even answer the door. I wrote “Payment for pizza in ziplock bag” on a ziplock bag and taped it to the door. The delivery being left the pizza on the porch and I got it after their vehicle left.
Folks with food delivery experience - does it bother you if people do that?
With regard to the original question, you are under no obligation to look beautiful for the world. This is something us girls do to ourselves. Men generally don’t feel bad for rolling out of bed and walking to the deli/corner store for coffee/cigarettes/whatever. Men don’t feel the need to shave their faces every day before they answer the door. You don’t have to be perfect and beautifully groomed in order to deserve respect from others, particularly in this context. As long as you’re polite to the person, give as decent of a tip as you can generally afford, it’s fine. I think a few words to the person like “boy it’s cold out, hope you stay warm!” or something like that, something to let them know that *you* know you’re talking to a human — that kind of thing is a million times more important than whether or not you’ve brushed your hair!
Again: you are under no obligation to anyone at any time to be perfectly beautiful.
agreed. i used to do deliveries and i didn’t care what the person looked like as long as they didn’t stiff me on the tip. and the whole leave the money in the ziplock bag thing happens so often.
I feel silly asking this but: what is the etiquette for answering the door for mail/pizza deliveries? Specifically, is it rude if I answer the door in (non-revealing) PJs with unbrushed hair and just…
I used to be a pizza delivery guy!
As to etiquette, food deliverers really do not care what you’re wearing or if you are adequately groomed. I’ve had people come to the door in everything from a three-piece suit to just wrapped up in a huge blanket. One time I showed up just as the person was trying to catch her toddler and make them put their clothes back on, so there was a naked baby running around. It doesn’t matter. We really don’t care.
As to leaving the money and a note on the door? Um, I dunno. I guess if you are really careful to make sure it’s the right amount (please include a tip!!)? I think if someone had done that when I was delivering, I might have thought it was kinda weird, but I wouldn’t have been offended or thought it was rude. This really only works if you’re paying with cash though! So, remember that if you pay with a card, you’ll have to sign the receipt.
Basically, delivery drivers are used to having people treat us badly. Our standards of etiquette are generally pretty low. Just, remember to tip, have payment ready when we get there, and don’t come to the door naked unless you’ve given advance warning. And don’t yell at us. That’s pretty much all it takes to make a delivery driver happy.
I used to work at Domino’s as a delivery driver and I can tell you from personal experience that we don’t really care how you’re dressed. I’ve had people answer the door in just a towel or looking like they’ve cried a five gallon bucket worth of tears. We’re there to bring pizza (or other foody) goodness into your lives. Also - fyi, if you give a tip in cash we’ll love you forever. We don’t typically have to include that in taxes cause our bosses don’t care. Means we can fill up our gas tanks.
For me it’s Clif bars, microwaveable Trader Joe’s bao, Annie Chun’s udon, and scrambled eggs. I agree with all of the above - eating anything is ALWAYS better than eating nothing at all. There’s a difference between eating chips when you’re bored and snacky and then feeling gross, and eating chips because it’s afternoon and you haven’t put any food in your body all day and if you eat you will have a little bit more energy and not feel like gross tired shit. Sometimes it’s that much of a difference. Sometimes I only feel up to eating the chocolate coconut bars because the peanut butter ones don’t feel worth the effort of chewing it.
Eating anything is better for your body and mind and routine and mental state. Full. Stop. You do what you have to do and sometimes that’s just ice cream.
Content warning: This post is my reply to someone who reblogged calling some of my low-spoons food strategies lazy and unhealthy. Some of y’all might be better off…
I’d like to add some tips which are helpful for my partner (and me) when he is struggling.
In addition to getting the motivation to make food, he can get overwhelmed by the decision of what to make. There was a suggestion above to have a friend text you with a reminder to eat, but taking it a step further and having them tell you what to eat can be useful too. I sometimes leave notes “chicken in tupperware” or he will text me “I’m hungry” and I reply with something like “there is peanut butter and honey on the counter and bread on the table, make a sandwich.” If I can take the burden of that choice away, that increases his chances of eating.
Ordering pizza or take out is a great way to avoid the stress of preparing food, but it can sometimes mean even more choices than eating at home. One solution is to have a go-to order. At some point pick a pizza place, pick a pizza and toppings and save that as your default pizza. If you pay with a card save your card information in the system. In the future, ordering a pizza is reduced to one decision and one click.
He also finds it helpful to have a generic/default order when we go out. He gets a bacon cheese burger with fries at any restaurant that has it, because then when he’s sitting at a table with 4 people and a waiter standing over him, he doesn’t need to make that choice.
When he is feeling more stable, it also helps for him to cook for us instead of just him. I still pick a meal, and make sure he has a recipe, but if he is cooking for me, he will follow through and cook the meal, and then there is something for him to eat as well. Strategies for living with a partner struggling with anxiety/depression is another post, but him cooking meals also helps to balance the support/supported roles in our relationship in a way that helps us both feel better. It helps him feel useful and that he is contributing, and it helps me feel cared for.
Related to the remembering food exists thing, do you have any advice for what to do when your depression is making preparing food seem so hard that you’d nearly prefer to just go hungry?A couple of suggestions:
Actually, there’s a blog about this. Well, a first cousin of it. It's http://lowspoonsfood.tumblr.com It’s submission based, so if you have good ideas, you should submit them. They also sort it by how many spoons each idea is. I’m fairly certain that that’s a really subjective measurement, but it’s still a good idea? If you click on “About” over on the right side, it’ll list the number of spoons and you can click on what you can give.
Related to the remembering food exists thing, do you have any advice for what to do when your depression is making preparing food seem so hard that you’d nearly prefer to just go hungry?A couple of suggestions:Order a pizza, or some…
This. So much this. Also, some grocery stores will deliver food if you happen to be lucky enough to live in the right city. I have one on my list of resources for when spoons have been completely exhausted. They also deliver toilet paper, which is the most crazy awesome thing ever. Also other things, but delivery toilet paper! How amazing is it to know that if you run out but can’t face leaving the house, someone will BRING YOU TOILET PAPER!
Depending on how your brain works, it might be worth being careful about the disposable dishes, though. I know that for me it’s even harder to deal with a build up of trash than a build up of dirty dishes (and don’t get me started on how overwhelming those dishes can be!), so if you’re like me it might be easier to either reuse a mildly dirty dish or to figure out a way to go without using dishes for this meal or, if you have the resources, to wash just the one dish you’re going to eat off of.
That’s a good point about trash. Disposable dishes aren’t a good solution for everyone.
Content warning: This post is my reply to someone who reblogged calling some of my low-spoons food strategies lazy and unhealthy. Some of y’all might be better off skipping this one.Related to the…
As someone who has been severely depressed, I can assure this person that using a blender (!?!?!) is WAY WAY WAY out of the question. When my depression was at it’s worst, I had to have a friend call me throughout the day and convince me to eat. At that time, even making a TV dinner was too many steps for me to handle.
I actually did eat a lot of yogurt with honey though. There isn’t any snack much easier to prepare than a cup of yogurt. You just peel the lid off and go. I ate a lot of applesauce cups too. You don’t even need use a spoon. You can literally just pour it into your mouth.
Also, if the honey is in a squeeze bottle like mine is, there is no complicated cleanup required. It’s actually a really convenient way to to plain foods like yogurt cups or applesauce cups a little more palatable without needing to use a spoon, knife, or fork.