therapy is a choice

Therapy is a choice

Sometimes, when you are dealing with a really awful therapist, people will tell you “That is a terrible therapist! You should find another one!”

And sometimes that is the right thing to do.

But sometimes it isn’t.

Sometimes the right thing to do is decide not to go to therapy anymore. Or to decide not to go to therapy *right now*, even if you’re open to it in the future.

Therapy is a choice. And it is possible to decide to stop going to a bad therapist without making plans to find a new one.

Getting therapy doesn’t mean renouncing all boundaries

If you want to try therapy (OT/PT/psych/CBT/whatever):

  • Keep in mind that you’re under no obligation to do so
  • You should do it if it helps you, and not if it doesn’t
  • It’s ok to judge this for yourself
  • If the therapist doesn’t respect you, find a different one (if you still want to continue trying therapy; it’s ok to decide not to)
  • If the therapist seems to prefer for you to be in pain, that’s a problem
  • Whether it’s emotional or physical pain
  • Some therapy inevitably involves a certain amount of pain, but it’s a major red flag if a therapist seems to be pursuing it as an end in itself
  • You do not need your therapist’s permission to quit
  • If they keep convincing you in person to continue, but you always want to quit when you’re not with them, it’s ok to end the therapy over the phone or email
  • Or to just quit making appointments
  • Some therapists are really good at manipulating people into doing things that are bad for them, and you don’t have to cooperate with that