Anonymous asked realsocialskills:My daughter graduates from high school in a month. She has Aspergers and had many challenges but managed to do well academically. However, she didn’t feel that the school dealt well with her. She is…
^ What this person said. Also: If the photo-ops are part of why you want her to go, consider staging your own “yay graduation” photo-ops that celebrate the milestone in a way that she’s comfortable with celebrating it.
I may be projecting my own bad high school experience (peer bullying, teacher bullying, sexual harassment, lack of accommodations, and so on) onto your daughter a bit here, but to make a long story short, being forced to go to my grad ceremony in HS induced a 20-hour shutdown and 2 weeks of sleeping 14 hours a day for me. It was really bad. Too much social, too much emotion, too much touching, and too much being touched by people that I both loathed and was terrified of. I imagine if your daughter had similar experiences to me in school, she’s at the point of “never want anything to do with that place or 95% of the people in it ever again.”
So my suggestion would be to find a way to celebrate the milestone for her to show her how happy and proud you are that she did well in difficult circumstances without making her have to play nice to people and an institution that at this point in her life she might absolutely loathe.
Anonymous asked realsocialskills:My daughter graduates from high school in a month. She has Aspergers and had many challenges but managed to do well academically. However, she didn’t feel that the school dealt well with her. She is happy to close the door on that part of her…
I really like this response, that idea about what the ceremony would mean to her sounds spot on, at least because I can relate to it. Luckily I transferred to a school I came to love my senior year, but for a while it looked like I might have been graduating from a different school and the idea of participating in a graduation there made my skin crawl, because I did not want what was such a huge milestone for me….going on to the next phase of my life, succeeding through a long struggle in school, -getting out of there-….to be marked by that places ideas of what a great institution they were, that they had built me up or prepared me at all, and that THEY were worth celebrating as much as me. No thank you.
I probably would have gone through with it, but I would have wanted to cancel it out with a proper, true celebration with my friends and family afterwards.