The power of maybe

auti-stim:

mayaminamoto:

realsocialskills:

Being able to say yes is important. Being able to say no is important.

Being able to say maybe is also important.

It’s usually ok not to know what you want, even if others want you to decide right away. You don’t always have to know reasons. It’s ok to just feel unsure. Feeling uncertain is an ok reason not to say yes right away.

Sometimes there’s legitimate time pressure and people do need you to make a decision right away. It’s ok to say no if you’re not sure.

And when there isn’t time pressure, it’s ok to say maybe. Even if that annoys others.

One of the most liberating things for me was learning that “I don’t know” is a valid answer. My girlfriend when they asks me if I want something adds “yes, no, I don’t know”, as if they were providing available answers. And they respect my “I don’t knows”, even if my indeciveness annoys them.

my partner and i have this odd… Ritual. We can say “no knows” which sounds like “no nose” and we both then complete a short series of hand motions to eachother. It sort of gives us an extra few seconds to find another word or just connect (the end of the series is our hands coming together). We both work around each others ability or inability to answer or know something. “Something else, maybe, no, yes, and I don’t know” are always options. We list them for each other. I help her have a safe space to learn and practice boundaries and expressing her needs and she helps sort my brain out with me. Any answer or feeling is always valid, even if the other is confused by it.