Anonymous asked realsocialskills:When people say “I can’t” I’ll sometimes encourage them to say “I decided not to” or something instead. Nobody can predict the future, so maybe nobody can know…
You know, I don’t have any specific memory of people telling me I’m not allowed to say “I can’t”, but that was the impression they gave; I still grew up thinking I’m not allowed to say “I can’t” when a teacher or boss tells me to do something. So I kept doing what was asked, and fucked up my feet, knees, and lower back. I was 26 when I finally realised that it’s ok to say no to a superior’s unreasonable requests.
And what’s really sad is that workplace safety training includes things like “You’re allowed to say no to requests that put you into an unsafe situation,” but all the examples are things that would be unsafe for ANYone. They don’t allow for disability; the subtext is that if other people can do it, then you should be able to do it too. It just never occurred to them that something that one person has no trouble doing might be harmful for someone else. And because of this, it never occurred to me to refuse work which is unsafe for me, because none of it was things that would be considered unsafe for people in general. I really wish I had figured this out sooner.
I hope this posts the way it should; I’m new to tumbler and not sure how everything works.